Dead Heading

This summer we moved our family to the beautiful historic town of Leesburg, Virginia, located thirty miles northwest of our nation's capital. Jonathan and I are renting a townhome close to Bobby and Rachel's award winning new schools. My cousin and sister's best friend from high school live only a few minutes away. All the shopping pleasures one could ever imagine are within walking distance, and I have only a five minute commute to my new position at a local Hilton hotel. The ice cream truck, playing Christmas music year round, visits our neighborhood regularly! We are loving this diverse community and our new church home as well.

One of the most pleasant surprises for me is how much I am enjoying townhouse living. There is a limited amount of maintenance required on this property. What a nice change for us! Substantially downsizing due to both financial necessity and also the desire to simplify, I also really like having such a small yard to care for. It never gets out of control or unmanageable like my acreage in Southwest Virginia did. We can spend our free time doing activities as a family rather than working on the property. And even though my yard is small, thankfully my head still clears itself every time I kneel in front of the flowers and manicure my little garden slice.

It is during this yard time that my brain seems to reset and the creative juices start flowing. It has actually been several months since I've written anything. Moving is a busy task, that's for sure. So is focusing on acclimating my little angels to their new community. Everything is going great, and we thank God every day that He has brought us to this amazing place. Now that we are settling into our family's new routine, that all familiar writing nudge has returned! I am praying in the midst of the busyness, some time can be carved out to pen some of these ideas swirling around my head.

Jonathan and I have a thin landscaping area lining our driveway and were looking for something that would grow out to cover the area with color. So after moving in, we planted one of my favorite flowering plants: lantana. Known for its gorgeous flowers and resiliency, lantana requires very little maintenance. Just plant it and let it grow, I thought, because I have had decent success with this plant in every yard I've planted it in previously. Lantana is consistently a good looking and good acting plant, at least to the casual garden observer, which is what I am.  We also placed lantana in this spot in hopes that the plants would grow and cover a crooked brick border along the driveway. So far, so good.

One afternoon recently as we arrived home, Jonathan looked over at the lantana and said, "I think we need to dead head those plants." Confused, I said "really? I've never done that to lantana before. I just leave them alone and they seem perfectly fine." Stepping out of the car, my husband sweetly motioned me to come over to him and take a more careful look. "Laura," he gently asked, "before we work on these plants, do you see the differences in the buds?"  Bending down, I approached them with a casual glance. The differences appeared minor and were actually a bit challenging to spot at first. However, after analyzing the buds more closely, I recognized the new buds had just a hint of yellow forming around the edges. The dead ones were solid light green, with no hint of sunshine peeking through. Turning to Jonathan I said, "ah, now I see what you see. There, that is a dead head. And over here, that one is fresh and good." Smiling, he said, "yes, and we just need to do some dead heading so the plants can flower more beautifully and spread the way we want them to."

For the next hour or so, we trimmed the dead heads off of each plant. Some of the buds needing to be cut were on top and fairly easy to spot. It was, however, necessary to peel back the small branches on the plant in order to identify the dead buds hiding within each plant. Many of these dead heads were deep inside the plants and easily masked by the new growth around them. I had no idea from looking at the outside of the plants that there was so much death underneath.

As my hand brushed the side of the plant, moving the outer branches aside to expose the inside, I was reminded that in life we should go through the same process, continually peeling back the layers of our lives, examining our behavior and motives in our relationships with others. It is true that as Christians we have already been made spiritually whole through Christ's sacrifice. The perfect, sinless God looks upon us and sees flawless beauty, not because of anything good we have done or could ever do. Rather, it is because of who He is and what He's done for us and through us. Growing in sanctification and maintaining that goodness as we relate to others is a different matter, however, because we are all imperfect humans prone to self preservation.

If we want to grow in our relationship with God, and likewise, if we truly want our marriage relationship or the relationships we have with our friends and family to successfully thrive, it is important to examine ourselves regularly. Peel back the layers of your heart and ask yourself some hard questions regarding your motives and you will often find there are more dead heads underneath than you may wish to admit. I am writing this not to shame you, but rather to encourage you. As bad motives or harmful decisions are nipped at the base of the bud one dead head at a time, exponential growth and beauty can happen in your life.  It is an exercise I have to go through every single day in my relationships with Jonathan, my children, coworkers, or friends, as well as in my communications with difficult people or before I consider publishing anything on this site.

After dead heading the lantanas, the plants are growing to their fullest potential. They have produced gorgeous flowers and are covering the crooked brick border along our driveway. So to, as we continuously peel back the own layers of our hearts, attempt to daily eliminate pride and selfish motives within our lives, beauty and authentic holiness can flourish within us. We can love those around us successfully and be happier people as a result.

Power Source

Recently I have been hopping on my bike and enjoying lengthy bike rides. Cycling is a great way to get my legs in shape and enjoy some cardiovascular exercise while enjoying the outdoors. Sights and sounds I wouldn't normally see or hear from a car can be experienced while exploring the area on a bike. By just listening a little on these bike rides, I have heard unusual bird species, children playing in the distance, streams bubbling over rocks, and the breeze flowing through the trees.

Last week I ventured onto a trail, and after a few minutes, turned the corner and found myself riding underneath a giant power station. Dozens of massive power lines spanned the area over my head - blanketing this otherwise rural location with gigantic spheres of power. As I headed west on the trail and pedaled underneath the power lines, I noticed a substantial buzzing sound coming from above me. It was actually a bit frightening because I sensed the immensity of the voltage flowing through the lines.

The power lines are capable of producing electricity for thousands of businesses and homes in the area. I can't really measure or comprehend the extent to which these lines send power to our community, however, hearing the buzzing sound above me so distinctly, I was reminded of the vast power source right above my head available to the surrounding area.

After going about three miles on the trail, I turned around and headed back east. This time, approaching the power lines from the opposite direction, the buzzing sound could no longer be heard. The wind was hitting my face and drowning out the power around me. No doubt the buzz was still happening in that same spot - the electric lines were still carrying massive amounts of power where needed. The difference was I couldn't hear it. The wind against my face was so strong it erased the presence of the power. Sure, I still saw the lines, knew they were there and what they could do. Yet without the experience of that strong buzzing sound, they were really just sticks joined by wires in the sky.

There is truly no greater power than that of the Holy Spirit. The strength He offers believers is even more immense than the power lines that were above my head that day on the bike trail. God is always there, but sometimes we don't experience His presence because the wind is blowing in our face. The sound of trouble or distractions literally drown out our ability to hear and experience the vast power source available to us.

We arrived in Cape Cod yesterday, and this morning I was helping my mom plant some begonias around a large tree in her front yard. Busy placing the plants in strategic locations, making sure the hole was dug just so and the delicate flowers or seedlings did not get damaged, my focus was on the task around me. The spot is also on a slight incline, so it was a bit of a challenge bending over and keeping the watering can upright as I worked my way around the tree. Busy focusing on the job, I didn't notice other sights or sounds around me. Getting tired though, I decided to sit down. For the next few minutes I rested my legs, sat in the shaded grass, and let out a sigh or two. Just then, in the midst of my resting, I began to hear some things around me. In the middle of my busyness a few minutes prior, I had not noticed birds chirping, squirrels scurrying, or the breeze moving through the leaves. Those things were there all along, but now I was fully aware of their presence.

Across the street from this tree, and about fifty feet above the nearby house, I heard an unusual bird calling. Circling overhead was an osprey! Now that isn't a bird a girl living in Virginia sees every day! As I sat and observed the bird's patterns, I began thinking of some plans Jonathan and I have for our future. There are some things we would like to see happen that haven't happened yet. I gently sighed again and then began to hear a whisper to my spirit - "My ways are not your ways... My thoughts are not your thoughts...your ways are not My ways." It was God. I can plan all I want. But what I think is going to happen now may not happen for months to come - if at all. But yet as I stopped, rested, and heard this message, I felt comfort in knowing God has got it no matter what.

The Holy Spirit wishes to speak to us on a regular basis, and He does so in various forms. For me, it is often a gentle internal voice and is usually God's own words as found in Scripture. His power is right there all around us, like the power lines were. It is a vast, beautiful, comforting, and purposeful power source offered freely to us. However, if we are too busy working or focused on a million things rather than sitting and just listening sometimes, we are like I was that day heading east on the bike trail. The wind will drown out the power.

Resting takes practice and is not something I am personally very good at. Notice that as I worked hard planting the flowers, focusing on their placement and safety during the process, it wasn't until I was tired that I stopped to rest. Thankfully, God chose to honor my choice to rest by sending me a beautiful message. I wonder though what I missed prior to that while I was so busy performing my duties in the dirt! Similarly, while heading back through the power station area on the bike trail last week, what if instead of choosing to ride right through that area with the wind hitting my face, I had stopped riding for a few minutes, pulled off the trail, and just stood in that spot to listen? I bet I would have heard the power buzzing through those lines again.

I'm finding more and more that by removing the things from the scene that are distracting me, making a conscious effort to stop and rest, the power source that is there for my spirit has the proper environment to communicate. It takes a conscious choice, but in doing so, we can clearly recognize the presence of the perfect power that is all around us.

The Dogwood's Humble Strength

Drive anywhere around Roanoke right now and you will find the valley bursting with dogwood trees. Gorgeously dusting the area with their white or pink petals, these trees usually pop out in full bloom in late April. And this weekend, the town I reside in honors these trees with its 59th Annual Vinton Dogwood Festival - - a fun family event including craft booths, dancing shows, a carnival, parade, and my favorite - - funnel cakes. Thank you dogwood trees for providing us with another reason to eat those fabulous sweet treats!

The dogwoods have always been my most treasured spring tree. Delicate and fragile in appearance, they don't tower over other blooming trees like the pear, cherry, redbud, or tulip trees. The shape of the dogwood is intricate due to its branch structure. Many have multiple trunks and dozens of complex branches that allow them to grow in various directions. They do not dominate in stature. But their character and gracefulness is flawlessly unique and beautifully creative.

Dogwood trees also actually house some of the strongest wood. Dense and "highly prized for making loom shuttles, tool handles, roller skates, and other small items that require a very hard and strong wood," * the dogwood trees are not only beautiful, but also strong and useful.

Upon examining a white dogwood petal, it may symbolically be compared to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ - - with four points and rust stained edges - - it is a natural painting of the Lord's wounds on the cross. There is no better story of humility than that of the Lord who although fully God and One who could have waved His hand and destroyed His enemies, humbled Himself, suffered, and died for us. Jesus did not stand on a mountaintop and scream his worth to the world, forcing everyone to repent and follow His way or the highway. Nor did He proclaim His perfection. He humbly and perfectly lived it. Jesus completely broke Himself and prayed, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."

In all honesty, I don't think I would've taken what He took. When I am being attacked or am in an uncomfortable situation, my humanity wants to fight back, defend myself, even claim my own worthiness and then speak of the other person's unworthiness. Christ did not do those things, so neither should we. It is better not to participate and if necessary, to remove ourselves from the situation so as to not sin further or say something we will regret and never be able to take back. That is the stronger choice.

Overall, the dogwood tree is the beautiful representation of humility, delicate beauty, usefulness, and surprising strength. It is a picture of Christ-likeness. It's towering cousins may seem superior in appearance, similar to how people who pridefully puff themselves up may seem to have it all and think they are walking the better path. Personally, I prefer the dogwood tree over others, just like I am more comfortable interacting with and learning from people of humble and delicate character. I would also like to be that kind of person.

* Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornus_(genus)

Frying Pan Plan

As a child and young adult, I spent every summer visiting my grandmother on Cape Cod. Preparing for those summer trips was a lengthy process. That was because I made sure everything needed during the summer could be packed in one suitcase and a carry on bag to be flown from my home in California to Massachusetts. My pre-summer vacation routine involved making categorical checklists which to this day my parents still tease me about!

Old habits die hard I suppose, as a similar process was needed when we recently joined some friends on a camping trip. Due to it being early in the camping season with the likelihood of cold nights - - and because yours truly is not known for her camping prowess, we decided it best to rent a camper which had heat, a bathroom, relatively comfy beds, and a full kitchen. Preparations for this camping trip took much planning - - more than I realized! Bathroom supplies, clothes, bedding, kitchen utensils, and food for my husband, his three girls, and myself all had to be included.

We arrived at the campground, unloaded, and were pretty much set the first night. Awesome! What a planner I am! (Just stay tuned...) The next morning we had three hungry girls, a starving mama, and a papa ready and willing to prepare breakfast. It was eggs, bacon, and cereal time. Going in the fridge to grab the eggs, I also pulled out the bacon, orange juice, and milk. Up in the cabinet were the plates, utensils, cups, and cereal. All right! Let's cook those eggs! Oh dear. Guess who forgot the frying pan? That would be me. It is kind of crucial to have something to actually cook the eggs in! It is also a bit challenging to have a bowl of cereal when a certain someone (me again) forgot to pack the bowls. Ugh. But despite my forgetfulness, the girls made the best of it and used plastic cups to eat their cereal. Fortunately our friends also had a frying pan we could borrow to cook the eggs and bacon. Gaps in my flawed plan were filled and all was well.

No matter how much preparation we put into things, we are human. Our plans are bound to be thwarted by our own forgetfulness and humanity - - or by circumstances outside of our control. It is just the way of life that things usually don't go exactly how we think they will go. It can be very frustrating, especially if we put a ton of time and heart into our plans. However, those are the times when God often steps in, cleans up our messes, and provides just what we need. He reminded me of my planning imperfection that camping weekend - - as well as His ability to perfectly provide.

"In their hearts humans plan their course,

but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

Look at Me. Not the Wind.

Peter was one of the strongest, most faithful disciples. When Peter first met Jesus along the edges of the sea, he was feeling professionally frustrated. Unable to catch any fish, Peter the fisherman soon witnessed his new friend Jesus turn the sea into pure prosperity as together they miraculously netted thousands of fish. Suddenly at the hand of Jesus, Peter's troubles ceased. Over the next few months, Peter would see Jesus perform miracle after miracle. The impossible became possible to Peter just by being in the presence of the Son of God.

Such was the case the day Jesus fed 5,000 people from just a small basket of bread and fish. Offering the baskets up to the Father, Jesus prayed and then Peter saw many baskets passed among the thousands. Not a single person went hungry that day. Soon after that miraculous event, Jesus asked his disciples to get in the boat and meet him on the other side of the water.

Nearly the entire night passed as the disciples were alone on the boat crossing the water. A storm began to whip the waves around. The wind was fierce and the people in the boat were undoubtedly worried. In the distance, they saw what they thought was a ghost, but it was no apparition. It was their Lord.

Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage!  It is I. Don't be afraid."

Lord if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water

and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and,

beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Riding in a boat during a wind storm can be quite scary. I have been out in a small boat when the winds were only around 10 mph with surrounding swells of 3-4 feet. Experiencing waves of that size while in a small boat is a frightening feeling. If Peter was walking on wind driven waves that night, the swells were probably more like 6-10 feet. And it was dark.

How striking that Peter had enough faith to step out of the boat in the middle of the sea - - in a storm no less - - to walk toward Jesus. However, the moment he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the wind, he began to sink. And then he cried out begging for his life. Jesus had mercy on Peter and immediately grabbed him, saving his life. Then He spoke:

"You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

Why, after everything Peter had seen Jesus do those months before, did he doubt Jesus? When it was he that needed a miracle, why didn't Peter simply look at Jesus and trust that he could walk all the way to him without sinking?

And why, after everything God has done for us, do we doubt?  It is truly our natural tendency to look at the challenges around us instead of focusing completely on what the Lord is obviously capable of doing on our behalf. This is especially true when things are severely dire, like it was for Peter. When our lives are on the line, or the lives of those we love the most are, we tend to look at the wind. We rarely look fully - -  completely - - directly - - at God. And simply trust.

Just as Jesus said to Peter, God says to us today , "Look at Me... Not the Wind." To focus on the many potential obstacles instead of on the Lord's ability to handle all of it can cause the issue to seem insurmountable. And it really isn't. He has the power and will to grab us right out of the water and make the wind stop blowing. ~

A Protective Dance

Every night this winter while leaving work, I have been entertained by starlings engaging in their nightly dancing ritual. It is a fascinating phenomenon, watching these dark birds gather together by the thousands. When approached by a predator, normally a falcon, just one bird can shift the movement of the entire flock. The pattern of movement within this murmuration is gorgeous, graceful, and as it turns out - - necessary for their survival. Studies have been done to analyze how a tiny shift from just one bird can cause the entire group of birds to follow. Scientific mystery follows these birds but one thing is clear: by joining together, they experience community and protection. As onlookers, we have the opportunity to view one of nature's most gorgeous sky ballets.

It is amazing that hundreds of these birds can be resting in a tree or on a power line, and then when sensing the threat of a nearby falcon, lift off into the air and commence a protective dance. The starlings are always on guard - - always prepared to outwit their predator.

As human beings, we are occasionally approached by a predator -- a nemesis -- someone who aggravates us - - gets under our skin - - or worse, tries to destroy us. Lord knows there are several people in my own life that just never seem to stop their pursuit of destruction. None of us is immune to dealing with those type of people from time to time. I pray for them.

But there is a much greater predator that concerns me. He is the great tempter - - the one who knows our weaknesses - - and capitalizes on them. The older I get, and the more joy and sorrow I experience, the more I believe the apostle Paul was completely accurate in stating that, "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."  

My weaknesses have changed and evolved over the years as circumstances have changed. It used to be that I was tempted by the things of this world: acquiring worldly possessions, gaining attention, and thoughts of a better life. I would wish for a bigger, better decorated house. Or I would read romance novels or watch television, allowing my mind to create thoughts of a more romantic life than what I was experiencing in my prior relationship. Those things have harmed me in the past. They have separated me from God. But rarely do thoughts like that enter my mind or heart anymore. I just don't care about worldly possessions very much, probably because losing what you used to have financially can make you appreciate just being able to buy groceries or pay the power bill. I am also so over the top in love in my marriage that my mind wandering toward anyone other than my husband doesn't even enter the picture. I am grateful for that.

However, because our spiritual enemy knows my heart and intentions, he has now become much craftier. Where he used to place a handsome man in front of me to think about, he now knows I am only going to see Jonathan's face. He doesn't place cute little knick knacks for the house or sparkly jewelry in front of my eyes either, because he knows I just want to have enough money to buy juice boxes for Bobby and Rachel's school lunches.

Instead, the enemy inserts worry, fear, discouragement, and anxiety into my thoughts. I find myself saying "well what if X happens," or "what if this person does Y and that leads to Z." What if. What if. What if. It really seems too like the closer I get to God and the more I serve Him, the more that pesky devil attacks me!

Fortunately though, watching these starlings outside after work has taught me a thing or two about avoiding a predator. First, the starlings are always expecting the falcon to attack. I have watched these birds gather on the power lines near my office and in an instant - - as soon as the predator is approaching - - take off. Within a few seconds they go from sitting on the wire to starting their synchronized protective dance. One of the biggest mistakes I make in my Christian walk is to keep sitting - - wallowing in my feelings - - when the spiritual attack is imminent. The starlings don't hesitate. They sense the falcon: they flee and join with others to create a cohesive protective unit. And I should do the same.

Once the starlings have avoided the initial predatory attack, they find it necessary to continuously shift their pattern in the air. As the predator attempts an attack from behind, beside, or above them, they are highly successful in shifting. How often do you see starlings bumping into each other and crashing to the ground as they go about this dance in the sky? Never. They are so successful in strategically adjusting, it is unlikely the falcon is going to be successful in catching its prey. Similarly, as spiritual attacks come, I too need to be smart. If the enemy is putting thoughts of dread or fear into my head, I need to immediately shift my thinking. Waiting to flee is to put myself in spiritual danger. Instead of dwelling in that dangerous place, I need to cling to, and verbally proclaim, the Word of God. I need to shift my thoughts to the truth and tell the devil to get lost.

Because the truth is I am much more powerful than a starling. The devil has absolutely no right to be swarming around my head. He has already been defeated by Christ, and Christ dwells within me. The enemy can do nothing to me outside of the will of God. True, bad things happen. Obstacles I never thought possible face me every single day. But by learning to shift away from the predator like the starlings do - - to join together with others with the same goals - - perhaps I too can commence a gorgeous and graceful protective dance.

A look at starlings in action.